the last month and moments to remember

We've had a crazy few months. Mom came to visit, and Ellie thouroughly enjoyed having Nana around, as did I. By the time she left, even Steven was plotting to offer her a ride to the airport and drive her in the opposite direction. She was such a blessing to have. Not only was she helpful around the house, but I was able trust her with the kids, knowing she would do the same whether we were watching or not. We got more sleep than we had in a long time when she took Collin at night. And she managed to get Ellie pretty much potty trained by the time she left!

Hesedel left to work in Mississippi for the summer. It's odd not having her here. I think I'm talking to myself a lot now. Collin has had many ups and downs, and after a new pediatritian and change in medicine, he's doing better. At 3 months he was 11lbs and 22.75in. I already miss him being so tiny. He's holding up his head amazingly well, and coos and smiles at us. Daddy especially. As of this morning, he also tries to grab at the toys on his playgym, albeit with a closed fist. He's way more of a cuddle bug than Ellie ever was.

Ellie has had quite the repetoire of quotable comments lately. "It'll be great!" "Brilliant!" "Good burp, Collin." "Quite funny." "I'm so proud of me!" "Mom, the baby brother will come out of my tummy soon."
Last fall, she was talking to Aunt Hesedel in jibberish. Hesedel said, "for real, Ellie?" "Yeah, for real!"
Yesterday we were reading Bible stories. I asked her who made the stars. "Daddy did!" "No, silly, God did. Who made the moon?" "Um, Daddy!" "No, God did. Who made Ellie?" "Um...Aunt Kadeshjah?" She would have been a little accurate had she stuck with Daddy.
She's turning out to be a great big sister, despite several sharing frustrations. I love how excited she is when Collin smiles at her, and how he follows her with his eyes.

And that's the end up naptime so I'm off, hopefully for less than a month this time.

Ellie smelled Collin this morning and says, "lovely, Collin! Mommy, Collin need clean diaper. Stinky!" Apparently I shouldn't be so sarcastic around her. We ran random errands today went through Starbucks drive-thru, went to a doctor's appointment. Some days I want to run and hide from the noise and chaos, but days like today I love. In spite of a few attitude issues (when are there not, whether it be Ellie or myself?) and Ellie wearing very un-matched clothing, I love being a mom. I'm so thankful that Steven works hard and, unfortunately long, so that I can stay home with the kids. And I'm thankful that he's such a great Dad when he is home. I'm thankful for God's grace getting me through the days when I'm not sure how to discipline Ellie. I wouldn't change my life. Well, maybe a little more time with my amazing husband. And a few extra hours to sleep or read.

Collin was diagnosed with GERDs yesterday. We suspected something was up besides normal fussiness, but I really wanted to avoid putting him on formula or medication. But he has a mild enough case that he doesn't need to go on formula. And after one night on Zantac, I'm ok with the medicine! After eating at 9:00pm, Collin slept until 1:30am, then 5:15am! I'm not sure we new what to do with so much sleep! I'm still not comfortable with him sleeping in his (un-moving) swing, but in the absence of anything else to keep him propped up it's working. Frustrating situation seems to be under control. And I'm thankful, once again, that my little man doesn't have so many of the problems he could have had.

Nap-time is almost over for another day. Sigh... and smile. :)

two of them, one of me

Somehow, I doubt that the cleanliness of Ellie's room will be a factor in how she turns out. And if I don't manage to vaccum the living room for a few days, nobody is going to die. Nor will my husband be upset if the bed doesn't get made. And who cares if the bathroom isn't sanitized? I do! Two children, who together occupy less space than one adult, and somehow I can't manage to do my own laundry. Not at all what I had imagine my life as a mother to be like. Yet here I sit, wondering why my amazing sister seems to get more of MY work done than I do. Guilty feelings...ugh. Which leads to another guilt-provoking reality of having two children: to spend quality time with one means I'm not with the other. I know, I know, I could read to Ellie while Collin is being fed, but she's quite active and will not sit still for hours of nursing! Somehow, there must be a balance. And somehow, cleaning and laundry and cooking and time with Steven MUST fit in. How? That remains to be seen...



On another note, my sweet and compliant little girl seems to have contracted a whiney-bug with our recent bout with the flu. "Carry me, Mommy!" "I cry..." "nooooooo!" Maybe Collin's crying is contagious. Thankfully she hasn't seen the need to take out my lack of time on him, but on me.

Life with two kids isn't all bad. I LOVE watching Ellie read to her baby brother, I love it when she wants us to 'check him' when he cries, I love when she holds him and gives him 'beep beeps' and kisses. Her first words when she saw him where, "I FOUND HIM!!!!" Screamed, of course, at the top of her lungs. If she has anything to do with it, they'll be best friends. I love that Collin is a cuddly baby. He's the cutest, tiniest little boy. I hope he adores his sister. And I hope they'll adore me. Once I figure out how to be a mommy to both of them.