two of them, one of me

Somehow, I doubt that the cleanliness of Ellie's room will be a factor in how she turns out. And if I don't manage to vaccum the living room for a few days, nobody is going to die. Nor will my husband be upset if the bed doesn't get made. And who cares if the bathroom isn't sanitized? I do! Two children, who together occupy less space than one adult, and somehow I can't manage to do my own laundry. Not at all what I had imagine my life as a mother to be like. Yet here I sit, wondering why my amazing sister seems to get more of MY work done than I do. Guilty feelings...ugh. Which leads to another guilt-provoking reality of having two children: to spend quality time with one means I'm not with the other. I know, I know, I could read to Ellie while Collin is being fed, but she's quite active and will not sit still for hours of nursing! Somehow, there must be a balance. And somehow, cleaning and laundry and cooking and time with Steven MUST fit in. How? That remains to be seen...



On another note, my sweet and compliant little girl seems to have contracted a whiney-bug with our recent bout with the flu. "Carry me, Mommy!" "I cry..." "nooooooo!" Maybe Collin's crying is contagious. Thankfully she hasn't seen the need to take out my lack of time on him, but on me.

Life with two kids isn't all bad. I LOVE watching Ellie read to her baby brother, I love it when she wants us to 'check him' when he cries, I love when she holds him and gives him 'beep beeps' and kisses. Her first words when she saw him where, "I FOUND HIM!!!!" Screamed, of course, at the top of her lungs. If she has anything to do with it, they'll be best friends. I love that Collin is a cuddly baby. He's the cutest, tiniest little boy. I hope he adores his sister. And I hope they'll adore me. Once I figure out how to be a mommy to both of them.